When I first started online dating, I had this notion that dating more than one person simultaneously would somehow be insincere. There were times where I would end up talking to a few girls at once but this was always accidental.
With this approach, I went on one first-date every month, sometimes less.
On one occasion when things were going very poorly, instead of stressing out, I told my date I didn’t think we were a great match but that we could still have fun over dinner.
Using my original method for dating (one girl a month at best), my odds of meeting that special someone were very low and theoretically it would have taken a long time to meet her. The issue here is the length of time only identifies part of the problem as it assumes that the “match” won’t move on to something else: a new job that she wouldn’t have been taken had she been in a relationship, settling for someone just to not be alone, etc.
Taking too long doesn’t just mean you’re looking longer. I believe that dating many people improves your chances in two ways: you have a better chance of meeting someone who you are looking for but you also potentially avoid missing out on someone who may move on if you never get around to meeting in the first place.
We did have a nice time that evening and then proceeded to never speak to each other again.
Failure became a part of dating, neither good nor bad; just a part that has to be accepted. Better First Impressions This was a direct result of having less stress.
Once I relaxed, I felt much better about the impressions I was leaving.
Even when things didn’t work out and my date was not interested in seeing me again, at least I knew we just weren’t a match instead of wondering if I had only done “better” would she have liked me? Improved Odds If you believe that you can get along with out there then dating few people could work for you.
When I was relaxed, there was no “doing better” or “doing worse”. For the rest of us, the biggest part of find that special someone is opportunity.
To put it another way: imagine there is a room with 100 singles of the opposite sex in it and in this imaginary room there is one person who is a “match” to you.
It always felt like starting all over and was always painful.
Once I even continued to date a girl just to avoid “starting over”.
I would continue to date someone negative or rude or conceited and would just hope that things would just eventually “work themselves out”.