(See my blog, ) But it can lead to frustration and unhappiness if we try to force our heart to love unconditionally when other aspects of the relationship are unacceptable or important needs go unmet.
When we love conditionally, it’s because we approve of our partner’s beliefs, needs, desires, and lifestyle.
They match up with ours and give us comfort, companionship, and pleasure.
We all have our preferences, idiosyncrasies, and particular tastes and needs, which have been conditioned by our upbringing, religion, society, and experiences.
We also have limits about what we will and won’t accept in a relationship.
It’s a being-to-being recognition of that which is unconditional in each of us, our humanity, as if to lovingly say, “Namaste,” meaning: “The God (or divine consciousness) within me salutes the God within you.” When we delight in another’s being-ness, boundaries may dissolve in what feels like spiritual experience.
This allows energy to flow into places of resistance that surround our heart and can be deeply healing.
Couples experience this most frequently when falling in love.
It also happens when someone fearlessly opens up to us in an intimate setting.
In couples counseling, they can learn to communicate in healthier, non-defensive ways that allow their love to flow.
I’ve seen angry couples married over 40 years experience a second honeymoon that’s better than their first!
The problem is often twofold: No human being, nor any relationship can ever achieve perfection, and often unconditional and conditional love are confused.