Now I only date outside my church – or I would if I could actually meet anyone!
” Beat it: If there’s a history of church members being hurt by bad dating behaviour, it’s understandable that leaders may want to protect people.
Beat it: If you’re dating someone outside your congregation, don’t introduce them until you feel secure in the relationship, and ask friends to keep it confidential.
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More mixed-sex groups would be a step in the right direction.
Consider organising a church social group yourself (say, a sports team or film club), and find other ways to expand your Christian social circle.
Alternatively, it may be time to find a less controlling church. Certainly, you shouldn’t date recklessly within your congregation, but when it comes to true love, sometimes you have to take a chance. Well, if you’re grown-up enough to have a relationship, you should be able to be pleasant to each other once you’re past that first awkward phase.
You like someone in your church, they like you, and you think you could be good as a couple. If the situation gets ugly, one of you may choose to find a new church or go to a different service. Women’s groups and men’s clubs have their place – but do churches really want to make it even harder for Christians to find a suitable mate?
But if those in authority are meddling inappropriately in the private lives of their congregation, it shows an unhealthy level of control. Major mortification potential – maybe it would be safer not to go on that date after all…
If you’re feeling brave, you could explain that, unless there are particular concerns, single people expect to be treated like adults. Beat it: This is a tricky one, especially in small churches where it’s hard to avoid each other.
Hopeful Girl is the singles/dating columnist for Woman Alive magazine.
Also note, I kept putting in searches for “Young Janice Dickinson, and Google kept returning what I thought were images of young Phoebe Cates. She actually cheated on her then fiance, Rob Lowe, with John Cusack, after she found out that Rob Lowe was sleeping with Nastassja Kinski. Apparently, Cusack also dated his Say Anything co-star, although she also dated Cusack’s friend, D.
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A spiritual community where everyone knows and supports each other is a wonderful thing, but it can be our undoing when it comes to dating.