You can probably finesse the wording a little bit: It’s been really great getting to know you, but I have to tell you the truth: I started to see a guy and things are getting a little more serious.
When I was actively online, I had the same situation.
I would keep my profile active though because I didn’t want the guys I was getting to know, to think I was getting to serious.
But any new interest would get a response that I am getting to know someone and if it didn’t work out, I would drop them an email and if they were still available and interested, we could go from there.
So many guys did respect that because they said a lot of women don’t even respond.
None of us likes to be rejected, and if we have any empathy about us at all we’re uncomfortable inflicting pain and/or embarrassment on someone – especially since that person’s only crime is thinking we’re kinda neat. When I first signed up for back in 2010 I didn’t know the rules. It turns out that I much prefer being ignored to being acknowledged in cases of rejection.
I remember feeling obliged, when I got a message from a woman who didn’t interest me, to try and craft a nice reply that didn’t make her feel bad about herself. If there’s no contact, it’s harder to take it personally.
If they don’t work out – which is always a possibility – I hope I can contact you again. Men are so unaccustomed to getting treated with this level of honesty and respect, they will love you for it, and you will absolutely be able to go back to them in the future – even if they were, technically, your “second choice” As for your second query, you’re making it much more complicated than it needs to be.
The night after a boring date that doesn’t inspire you to go out again, you just fire off an email.
You may notice that it sounds very similar to the one you read ten seconds ago.
However, I don’t feel the necessary “click” to continue to move things forward with our relationship. You don’t have to promise to stay in touch as friends.
Thus, there’s no dating without heartbreak, any more than there’s swimming without getting wet.