“If they mention a particular interest or skill, they might want to share that with a new person, so let him or her know that it’s something you’ve always wanted to try,” says Diane Berry, MSW, author of person might slip in a little something extra, like a picture of him with his niece, a yellow Lab, or wearing an Eagles jersey. “If he or she provides this kind of clue in their picture, you should make a comment about it and ask questions in your first email,” suggests Alyssa Wodtke, co-author of Who doesn’t love a good ego stroking?“A person puts their picture up there for a reason, so they want to hear that it had the desired effect,” says Wodtke.
“First off, it makes it more personal and lets me know that he didn’t just look at the picture and decide I was hot.
Also, I’ll know it wasn’t some ‘profile spammer’ who sends the same form email to every girl.” So pull out a couple of choice bits of info from his or her profile and mention them when you first make contact.
When it comes to sending messages many people freak out.
They want to say online dating sites give you profiles to work with.
This will help spark an idea about where to take the message.
Bonus: you’ll find out if you truly want to message this person or if they’re just drawing you in with their physical appearance.
Good luck out there, and may the words be with you!
[image: via Joi Ito on flickr] Ready for conscious, like-minded individuals you really want to meet?
I’ve been doing the whole online dating thing on and off for years now and let me just say, I’ve had the entire range of good, bad and ugly messages arrive in my inbox.
There was a time I even created a blog to showcase some of the best of the worst because I felt the world should share in the horror with me.
You can even succeed with something as simple as: “I know your profile says that you’re always working, but I’d love to hear back from you when you have the time.” One of the best things about this modern form of courtship is that you cross paths with a ton of people you would have never met otherwise.