We don’t want to make the wrong decision, so we discern and overanalyze every possibility, to the point where we never actually take action.This isn’t to say that God doesn’t call people to periods of singlehood.
It’s a chilling idea, and one that I think has certainly created some reluctance toward dating.
Harris’ book, and the many others like it in the ’90s and early 2000s, were written in reaction to society’s increasingly casual approach to love, sex and relationships—all of which are, by their nature, not meant to be casual.
A number of problematic attitudes crept into Christian culture.
So if you’re contemplating asking someone out for coffee, you don’t need to be quietly weighing her merits as the bearer of your progeny (in fact, it’s probably better that you aren’t).
Do not pass go, do not gradually get to know each other in a relaxed setting.
Part of this seriousness, I think, can be attributed to the belief that you give part of your heart to every person you date.
My concern is that we’re setting the wrong standards. Or maybe we aren’t concerned about whether a lady loves Gandalf as much as we do, but we do expect her to already be a saint.
In addition to the above, we’re also looking for bubbly extrovert with a great physique, a successful career and all the same interests (“You’re on to your fifth re-reading of Lord of the Rings as well? Not only does she need to have all of the virtues listed in the first paragraph, she needs to have them all the time, never stumbling.
Or she doesn’t, and that’s rough, but at least now there is clarity in the relationship.
Too often, I think this area of our lives is defined by indecision.
I did a year of missionary work after high school and was intentionally single throughout.