Men and women learn a lot in recovery, not just about staying sober but living a happy, satisfying life.
They don’t need to be taken care of; they learned how to do that for themselves.
For instance, depending on the recovering addict’s particular needs, you may need to avoid drinking or using drugs around them or stop going to certain types of social events.
Healthy Recovery, Healthy Relationships Most recovering addicts aren’t strangers to therapy and, as a result, have spent a lot of time working on themselves and their relationships.
They have learned critical relationship skills, including how to identify, process and communicate their emotions and to set personal boundaries while respecting the lines drawn by others.
Go on actual dates in public: go to the movies, go out to dinner, grab coffee, go ice skating, etc.
These will give you opportunities to get to know one another better and open up.
I kinda like this guy, but there’s one thing; he does drugs. To answer your first question first, this guy clearly likes you. Do you only “know” about his alleged drug use from rumors? It’s unfair to judge someone based on what you heard through the grapevine, and rumor mills are like the worst game of telephone ever.
Well from what I’ve heard, he did cocaine, but I don’t know if he still does. Guys don’t hold hands in public with girls they don’t dig. For all you know, he could have said, “I like Coke better than Pepsi,” but the wrong person overheard only half of the statement and blew it out of proportion.
It isn’t your job to safeguard their sobriety, and someone firmly grounded in recovery won’t expect you to, but as a member of their support network you’ll need to encourage them to prioritize their recovery, sometimes even over you.
You also need to assess how much baggage you can handle. They may have accrued debts, a criminal record or legal problems, or irrevocably damaged key relationships in their lives that make your interactions with their family and friends tenuous.
After dating one dud after another, you finally find someone who seems to have it all – thoughtful, witty, responsible – and good-looking to boot.