Of course it can be a bit frightening meeting new people for the first time. Remember when you were a shy, spotty teenager going on your first date?
I expect that you told your mum or dad where you were going and what time you would be back.
I should point out that the ones who are actually enjoying their lives and a relationship are the ones that made a positive decision to spend some time on their own, break old patterns, rebuild their lives, and redefine themselves in a positive, loving context. I am not here to invalidate anyone’s feelings – you feel what you feel, keeping in mind that you are actually able to identify what you feel and attribute the right word to it.
Even if you fancy them like mad as soon as you meet - keep a little cool and let things develop at their own pace. Give the number to a friend or relative before you go. If you really don't feel that there is any future in meeting again, gently tell your date, but thank them for the opportunity of meeting them and wish them well for the future. Don't rush into anything that you are not ready for, but if a relationship becomes physical, make sure that you practice safe sex by always using a condom for any penetrative sexual activity. It only takes one occasion with an infected partner to ruin your life. If nothing else, you will have had an outing, some laughter and hopefully, made a new friend.
(Some people are married and still dating and we cannot weed them out for you). You will still have had an outing, some fun and some dating "practice". Don't be dishonest and say you will be in touch if you don't mean it.
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This will give you time to get an idea about the other person's reliability and honesty. The risk of meeting a "bunny boiler" or psychopath are very slight.
Remember too that the other person is probably also a bit nervous and cautious, so try not to rush them. Get a phone number at home or at work before you meet, if you can. (Yes, even the over 60's sometimes still have sex - despite what our children think). Take sensible precautions (see above) then just get out there and have some FUN!
If you feel especially nervous or wary, perhaps you could arrange to have a friend or relative sitting discreetly in the background. It takes a while to get to know someone, so don't rush in too quickly.
Their opinion may be valuable and you could always express surprise at meeting them and introduce them to your date. Try to establish a casual friendship before considering romance.
They should have stopped or slowed down when they saw me coming. I thought that it was going to be really good here, so how come I feel so crappy. If you are not willing to put aside even a few months out of your life to focus on you and clearing out the emotional closet so you can get down to hand baggage and approach men, dating, and relationships from a healthier positive perspective, already dedicating a likely far longer period to self-negativity and poor relationships, there are certain things you need to do and remember: 1) You are choosing your experience and bearing in mind that you know what the very likely result will be, that puts you in the hotseat of responsibility.
2) You’d better leave your insecurities at the proverbial door, because while people accept that we come with a level of baggage, it is highly unattractive to be in relationships with people whose baggage permeates everything and who appear to need reassurance, validation, affirmation, and discussions above and beyond the comfort levels of even the healthiest of people.
In fact, I know people who feel just as alone in a room full of people, nevermind one on one with a man.