They went out for a meal and he proceeded to order lots of delicious, rich things that she hadn’t eaten for a long time. It was only afterwards when the pair were doing a spot of shopping that the uncontrollable gassiness began. Well, you can either tell him, or like me, let the fart speak for itself.” She let it out.
Very often in my life, a rejection has pointed me away from something mediocre or good and toward something GREAT.
Here’s hoping that every bad, miserable, uncomfortable first date is pointing me toward my amazing, spectacular, hand-picked by God mate!
But even if you have an incredibly embarrassing moment on a first date, all is not lost, as one woman revealed. “The more I held it in, the more pain would shoot through my stomach and down my legs. “I scratched and clawed at the window like I was being kidnapped.
It was her third date with Rob and she’d been avoiding carbs for a while in a bid to lose some weight. I was even having to raise myself off the seat, gripping onto my door and the dashboard.” “How do you tell a man you just started dating that the reason you’re writhing in pain is because you have to fart? Rob, unable to see either by fart cloud or panic, kept turning on the windshield wipers instead of unlocking the window.” By the time she got home, she was convinced she’d never see him again. I didn’t think it was possible to ever see a man again after he screams he can taste your fart after only knowing you for 48 hours,” she says.
This whole dating thing, of spending awkward periods of time over dinner or coffee making small talk with a complete stranger and hoping a spark lights (or sometimes hoping a fire burns the place down so you can escape as quickly as possible) is an odd ritual, at best.
Finding two people on the same page at the same time with the same feelings seems as impossible to me as finding a needle in a haystack. So when it DOES happen…I believe it’s purely magical, and meant to be.
I also believe and hope it will happen for me someday.
Which makes the awkward coffee dates and endless small talks over dinner completely worth it, because there is no frog in the world I wouldn’t endure an hour or two of misery with in order to finally, finally find my Prince Charming.
When you don’t know someone well, it’s easy for things to get awkward. As they ate - a “heavy” meal of fried chicken and mashed potatoes for her - the woman started talking about how she’d recently lost lots of weight. And sometimes things just get weird, as one woman found out when she was invited round to her neighbour’s to watch a film: “About a third of the way into the movie, he went to the bathroom and was gone a pretty long time.
I finally got up just to see where he went, and lo and behold, there he is: sitting on the corner of his bed, door open, jerking off swiftly and furiously, really beating it, and just implores: ‘You did this to me. Just stand there a minute.’” The woman didn’t reveal whether she ran away and immediately moved house, but one can only assume. “The toots started to flood out uncontrollably,” she goes on.
Anyway…Rejection Guy told me within the first 20 minutes of meeting him that he had been fired from almost every job he’d ever had because his bosses hated him, his roommate hates him, and every girl he’d ever dated was a witch with a “B.” Yes, he actually used that term. It’s unattractive, it’s off-putting, and it permeates everything around you until no one can stand to be anywhere near you. Who knows if I would have been attracted to this guy or would have wanted to spend more time with him had he not carried around his rejection like a badge of honor…but now I’ll never know. But at a certain point, you have to stop blaming the world around you for your misery and start looking within to see what you can do differently.