When you measure your lovability by trying to quantify your sexuality, you diminish your humanity.
To marry someone with a past is not “settling,” but can be a great gift. What he meant for evil — to harm or demoralize us — God often means for our good (Genesis ). The promiscuous King Solomon knew firsthand: satisfaction is measured, not in terms of what a person can do in fifteen minutes, but what they can do with fifteen years: “Many a man proclaims his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find? By trying to measure up to past sexual partners, we give the past power that it neither has, nor should be thought to have.
Search your heart and root out self-righteousness so that you’re not blind to see that God may be giving you marry your partner who has a sexual history, you will not be the best person in their life in every area of life. It is way too easy to become obsessed with a partner’s sexual history.
Television can make such a history into a lot of things — meaningless, devastating, even humorous.
But it cannot redeem it, at least not in any truly deep and lasting way.
If your partner says, “I don’t think about my ex,” it really could be true.
It would be a terrible violence to give someone’s past sins power over them that they didn’t previously have.The Gracepoint Foundation is excited to launch our first ever Annual Campaign, focused on supporting the mission of Gracepoint Educating, advocating for and giving hope to all people touched by behavioral health, substance abuse, and developmental challenges. For some reason, the modern sitcom seems to be the only venue that openly addresses the dark awkwardness of a dating partner’s sexual past.Give them the grace of knowing that their past doesn’t define them.We all have remorse-tailored monsters hiding in our closets. But there is still hard work to do — understanding, forgiving, crying, forgetting, maturing, resolving work — and there are some concrete ways that Christ enters into the conversation about sexual past in a dating relationship.The reflex reaction of the insecure is to quantify oneself, especially physically: to rush to numbers for security, to resort to inches to feel worthy, to run to the scale to feel loveable.