They’re therefore mourning both the loss of that person the potential future, whether consciously or not.
(The upside, researchers also mention, is that women heal faster than guys.)Same goes for lesbian relationships, research suggests.
Being in a relationship can also cause “self-pruning,” or the elimination of your negative traits, like kicking a smoking habit.
The bad news comes when you get to self-contraction—losing the positive traits you once had—and self-adulteration—gaining negative traits.
So cut yourself a break post breakup: You're not only missing your partner, but you’re also partially mourning the loss of this reliable, enjoyable, and secure identity you’ve created.
What values did you compromise on (like ditching your friends for an impromptu date night or skipping the gym to snuggle longer)?
What were your biggest fights about and how did you handle them (did you shut down and avoid confrontation? What's more: Too often people play out their dependency needs with their partner (and their partner does the same with them), and this causes problems in the relationship, explains Deborah P. D., psychotherapist and relationship expert, author of "When one is flying solo, it is the perfect time to turn inward and to fill in the gaps." (And don't forgot the many other benefits of living la vida single too.)Completing thoughts like “I get angry when...” “I feel strongest when...” “When I’m alone, I feel…” can help too, Hecker says.
Go on as if nothing happened, perhaps falling into the first relationship that comes along.3.
Take your time and heal properly, look at what’s happened, learn from it, and find ways to build a new and healthy life.Researchers also found that women experience more pain than men after a breakup. Ladies are evolutionarily wired to invest in whomever they get involved with, since a one-night stand could lead to nine months of pregnancy, followed by an actual child.Whom they canoodle with potentially affects their future, so they become more attached to the one who makes it through the selection process.“This shouldn’t be a way to negatively judge yourself, but rather a way to see yourself objectively in order to grow.”A study found that this kind of reflection helps you process what has happened and helps you heal by strengthening your sense of self as a singleton.Go it alone, grab a friend, or if you want an un-sugarcoated perspective, consider a professional therapist or counselor, who can give you deeper insights and potentially speed up healing time.In fact, breakups between women may be even more painful, as women experience a stronger effect of the "bonding hormone," oxytocin, than men.