I’m terrible at dating in general, but my go-to online dating move is to get a message from someone cute, and never ever respond. So, when Robyn Exton, the CEO at Her (stylized as HER), a dating app centered on lesbian, bi, and queer women, asked me if I was interested in their latest study on the best hacks for their app, a small, scathing, and very single voice inside me hissed, "You need this." The PR photos didn’t hurt.
Now, I know I am just one girl, and this is by no means a well-researched or planned experiment, but I can't help but feel that there are consequences to checking the "bi" box.
Again, I tell myself that it should not be this difficult.
It takes less than a minute to change my online sexuality and to add an honest disclaimer, or clarification, in my summary.
I still stand by my online dating advocacy; I just wish it weren't so strenuous to navigate as a bi girl looking for romance.
Even if you go on one or two unsuccessful dates during the week, you still give off a vibe at the bar that says, "Yes, I am dating," as opposed to the I-haven't-been-on-a-date-in-three-months vibe that people (annoyingly) tend to pick up on, as if through an extra sense.
Nevertheless, as easy as online dating has become (it's evolved into the mainstream and is popular in New York City and across the country), it is still difficult to navigate as a bisexual woman.
Sure, there are dating sites specifically designed for bisexual women, but they do not have the reach or the users of other, more well-known sites, and frankly, they tend to alienate gay women and straight men.
Because, like many other bi girls, I am attracted to gay women and straight men, I want that exposure.
I have always been an advocate of online dating, for a variety of reasons.