But if you position and package yourself appropriately, the odds will work in your favour, rather than against you." As someone who dated more than 100 men in 10 countries before she met her soulmate – an English divorcé called Paul – Paula feels more than qualified to advise others. Often it's a simple case of tooth whitening (''it knocks off five years''), Botox to smooth frown lines or regular trips to the hairdresser to hide the grey roots.
Experience has taught her to value her virtue and femininity, and she is keen to pass this message on. It's all about evolutionary psychology." Bad news for women over 40? She also recommends switching to subtly flattering make-up brands, such as Bobbi Brown or Mac.
''You're never too old to love and to be loved.'' The Big Short, the film adaptation of Michael Lewis' book of the same name about the causes of the financial crisis, opens in UK cinemas this weekend.
We know what and who is good for us and what and who is not.
Does the idea give you a stomach ache; inspire panic, fear, self-and-other-loathing and dread? I'm here to tell you it should inspire the opposite: joy, optimism, relief, curiosity, the tingly youthful enthusiasm of possibilities. We have made peace with the destructive parts of ourselves that made choices from a place of fear, not strength.
The fear of youth Because you've got nothing to lose! We were hunters - aiming for the career, the guy, the condo, the essential pieces of that elusive Real Life. Women and the blessings of aging We've finally made peace with all the enemies of our younger selves - our parents, our exes, our bodies, our limitations, our life choices, all the stuff we thought we could control but couldn't, our mortality, our unique strengths and magic, our maternal and womanly wisdom we no longer ignore but allow to guide us.
The stakes are so much lower than when we were in our 20s, juggling careers and the relentless anxiety of the have-it-all culture we were promised. We got the career, the husband, the house, the dog, the kids the All in Having It All. Now we've got older kids who turned out far better than we could have ever hoped; a cool job we finally feel challenges us and is worth our time; a fab circle of righteous and hilarious midlife BFFs we don't have nearly enough time to see.
If you can't remember when someone last asked you out, it isn't the minefield of how to behave in a restaurant that causes anguish, it's securing a date in the first place.
Former corporate high-flier Paula Rosdol, a London-based American, specialises in helping women in midlife and beyond relaunch themselves onto the dating scene.
"They've done well in their careers and they've lost touch with their femininity.
But men prefer women who are not confrontational or loud – and who have a soft lilt to their voice." No doubt she's right, but such contrived stratagems go against a certain Anglo Saxon straightforwardness – and there's something uncomfortably Stepford about all that grooming and pearly dentistry.
We've had it all: careers, marriage, kids, divorce. So, as my mother always says, about everything: "What could be bad?